Pressing out
Suffering is sticky: It's interesting how experiences stay with us even when time has long gone.
When I started doing these portraits, I had another picture in mind. But naturally, my body expressed what needed to be expressed, unleashing some unknown energy I hadn't seen before. It's raw. It's not beautiful... I can see it's full of emotion.
Creating these self-portraits has been healing; it has pulled out some of the pain of my past, leaving me with another baseline of feeling. I feel alive and different. Good.
But I can feel there is a lot left unsaid, so I will continue on this journey to the unknown—the journey of feeling with no expectations and having no idea how it is going to look or be in the future.
The only thing I know for sure is that the journey starts in the body. I am sure many of my portraits will be very much about the body.
Expressing what we have left needs to be done in a way that pulls everything out of you. And it's a necessity, not a luxury.